This Coming Weekend..

I am sooo pumped for this weekend!! Barr-Reeve has decided to host an annual Jim Miller Classic Softball Tourney this weekend each July in honor of a man that absolutely adored softball!! On the Opening Day of softball, the softball board had my family to stand on the pitcher's mound, surrounded by many of our friends, teammates, players, and coaches to give a salute to my dad for the dedication he put into the softball program and to announce this coming July tourney. The tears would not stop streaming down my face as I pictured his face up above, wondering why all of this attention was being given to him. He was always the doer, never the taker, but this weekend, our love is going to be given back to him. I cannot explain how blessed I have felt these past 8 months to live where I do, and to be surrounded by the people that have been so perfectly placed in my life. I will never be able to thank you enough for the honor that you have placed on my dad's life, and the memories that are being made. Thank you for allowing my dad to live on... even though he will never die in my heart, it makes life a little easier to know that I am not the only one remembering.

**I'm sure I will have many, many pictures to post from this coming weekend!!

God Bless,
~JM~

Daddy's Little Girl..

Her hair up in a pony tail, her favorite dress tied with a bow, Today was Daddy's Day at school, and she couldn't wait to go. But her mommy tried to tell her, that she probably should stay home, Why the kids might not understand, if she went to school alone. But she was not afraid; she knew just what to say, What to tell her classmates, on this special Daddy's Day. But still her mother worried, for her to face this day alone, And that was why once again, she tried to keep her daughter home. But the little girl went to school, eager to tell them all about a dad she never sees, a dad who never calls. There were daddies along the wall in back, for everyone to meet, Children squirming impatiently, anxious in their seats. One by one the teacher called, a student from the class, To introduce their daddy, as seconds slowly passed. At last the teacher called her name, every child turned to stare- Each of them were searching, for a man who wasn't there. "Where's her daddy at?" she heard a boy call out. "She probably doesn't have one," another student dared to shout. And from somewhere near the back, she heard a daddy say, "Looks like another deadbeat dad, too busy to waste his day." The words did not offend her, as she smiled at her friends, And looked back at her teacher, who told her to begin. And with hands behind her back, slowly she began to speak, And out from the mouth of a child, came words incredibly unique, "My Daddy couldn't be here, because he lives so far away, But I know he wishes he could be with me on this very special day. And though you cannot meet him, I wanted you to know all about my daddy, and how much he loves me so. He loved to tell me stories, he taught me to ride my bike, He surprised me with pink roses, and taught me to fly a kite. We used to share fudge sundaes, and ice cream in a cone, And though you cannot see him, I'm not standing all alone. 'Cause my daddy's always with me, even though we are apart, I know because he told me, he'll forever be here in my heart." With that her little hand reached up, and lay across her chest, feeling her own heartbeat, beneath her favorite dress. From somewhere in the crowd of dads, her mother stood in tears, proudly watching her daughter, who was wise beyond her years. She stood up for the love of a man not in her life, doing what was best for her, doing what was right. When she dropped her hand back down, staring straight into the crowd, she finished with a voice so soft, but its message clear and loud. "I love my daddy very much, he's my shining star. If he could he'd be here, but heaven's just too far. Sometimes when I close my eyes, it's like he never went away." Then she closed her eyes, and saw him there that day. To her mother's amazement, she witnessed with surprise, a room full of daddies and children, all starting to close their eyes. Who knows what they saw before them, who knows what they felt inside. Perhaps for a second, they saw him at her side. "I know you're with me Daddy," to the silence she called out. No one in that room could explain it, for each of their eyes had been closed, but there placed on her desktop, was a beautiful fragrant pink rose. A child was blessed, if only a moment, by the love of her shining bright star. And given the gift of believing, that heaven is never too far.

~JM~

Happy Father's Day -- Meet my Memories!!

My very first driving lesson from the one and only! :) 1989

My First Christmas with the love of my life! Christmas 1989

I will always see your smile thru my tears...
When I grow up, I wanna be just like you, Dad!
You showed me the world every step of the way...

You spoiled me rotten :)

Hold me tight, daddy, and never let me go...
Mischievous Millers!!
Looking up to you just came natural...

You were my world & I was the apple of your eye...
I wanna spend the whole day- just me & you!
You loved with all that you had....


You gave to me, even when I didn't deserve it...
You gave me the world through the work of your own two hands...

You taught me how to fly...

I want to drive this time, Dad, but stay behind me just in case I need you.


So wrapped up in your love!!


Your words will always be engraved on my heart...

This was just too precious!! Dad & Baleigh...

What a goofball! Dad & Grandma :)



Always surrounded by your girls :)



Your laughter filled my ears with delight!


Dad, Brittany, Briona, Paul, Gage, Lance, & Chelsea- Welcome to the Miller Life!!

The morning after my 11th birthday, and you stayed up all night with us!

Even though we're no longer together, I can still see you there, standing beside us, and loving us every step of the way...



You taught me what love really was...

Me & you- so full of Life!

Mom's 35th Birthday was nothing short of suprises!!



The precious gift of giving...

How could my heart ever be as full as it is when I'm with you?

Dad & Beetle-- we still dream of you...

]Your three girls that were left to fight for life without you... We never dreamt that you would ever be gone...




My Father, My Guiding Light

Dad, you’re like the sun to me,

a sure thing, always there,

beaming light and warmth on my life.

Whatever is good in me today,

I owe to your wisdom, your patience, your strength, your love.

You taught me by example, as a role model,

how to be my own person, how to believe in myself,

instructing me without controlling me.

Even when we disagreed,

you held us together,

so our bond was never broken.

I understand what you did for me,

and I am so grateful that I have you

as my solid foundation, my rock.

I respect you, I admire you,

I love you, my guiding light, my Father.

By Joanna Fuchs





To: My Father

I hope that somewhere beyond the clouds

you're reading this today,

and smiling down so that I may have

sunshine on a day that is so very bittersweet!

I know you were always the one to say it,

but today, I think you deserve to hear it.

I am so proud of the father & man that you were;

there will never be another to take the place in

my heart saved just for you.

Until we meet again,

Brittany Janae.

Happy Father's Day!!






When I die, hallelujah by and by, I'll fly away...

Handicapped

I've spent the past couple days working on my Father's Day post and I think it's going to turn out to be very neat!! As I was copying some pictures that I wanted to share of my younger days, I realized the amount that we had and decided to only take 3-5 albums and share my favorites. Each Father's Day I'll move on to the next albums so that each year the pictures become more recent! Looking back on all of those pictures felt like lifting the cover to someone else's life. It's amazing to see the years vanish and be looking into the eyes of a baby that was you, being held by parents that look nothing like themselves today!! It reminded me of how precious our time on this Earth really is, and how quickly time goes by. Those memories stirred some bittersweet emotions within me and every now and then I felt like I needed a break. I felt like a woman with a handicapped heart, going through therapy to become stronger and to be able to do things on my own once again. Even though I do not look limited on the outside, I feel limited on the inside. It made me question the idea of love and what love really meant...As I thought of all of these things, I wanted my Father's Day post to somehow represent my idea of love and the love that was given to me. Some people may look at my life on the cover and wonder why I still write like I do, or why I have taken this all so hard, and it's because, there was so much more to my relationship with my dad than just that- a father. He was my best friend, my provider, my strength, my determination, my world. When you lose all of that in one person, it feels like you lose yourself as well.
My wish today is that instead of just looking at your dad as a father, see what else you can find in him. My guess is, you'll find more than what you think. Embrace your relationship with your father while you have the chance.... because I never thought I would be the one sitting on the other side of the fence, sharing this story with you...

This year for my Father's Day gift, I opened my first savings account! Yes, i know- me actually saving money?! I figured that if I keep depositing money in there, in 10 years I'll have an amount that will allow me to make a good payment on my dream house- the house we live in now. I can't imagine raising my kids any place other than where I feel my dad, inside & out. :)

Summer thus far...

Lazy days by the pool...

Late evenings relaxing in the hottub...

Spending time with dear friends...

and tractor rides :)....

Lately I've been struggling with some things that have really been weighing me down and causing me to be in some pretty sour moods, but Sunday as I was sitting in church, flipping thru the Bible (dad's bible- we take it to church with us each Sunday) to follow along with Shawn, a few pages fell onto my lap (it's old, but i love it that way :)) and this is what I saw:

* I strain to reach the end of the race and receive the prize for which God is calling us up to heaven because of what Christ Jesus did for us.

I have no idea when he highlighted this verse, but as soon as I read it I got goosebumps and I thought, "Brittany, where have you been thinking he is all this time?" It's so easy to see my life without him, and it's even easier to forget where he is because all that I see is my life without him and the empty places in my heart. I need to start picturing him celebrating in Heaven with Jesus by his side, safe and without pain or heartache.... but it's so hard. I just want Heaven to be on Earth!!

Words will never describe the way I miss you, dad.

~JM~

I Did It!!

Briona, me, Jess, & Baleigh

My mom & I

My "little" sisters :)

This past weekend I spent my time in Odon, singing in a wedding for a couple that means a lot to me. And yes- you read it right! I actually got up in front of a large crowd of people and sang as Nick & Jessica's grandparents and parents walked down the aisle. I was shocked that I actually did it- I hate standing in front of a big group of people with so many eyes on me... I did not think that I had the confidence without one of my biggest fans sitting in the pews, but while I was sitting there, waiting for the wedding to begin, I imagined God rolling back the curtains and allowing my dad to have a little sneak-peek of me standing strong and singing with a voice that he had never heard before. I've never longed for something more... and as I turned my mic off and found my seat for the wedding- I saw it, in my heart I found his smile once again and my heart was only able to do one thing after that.....SOAR! :)

Congrats Nick & Jess!!!

I love you, daddy...

Smile?

This weekend was a rather eventful one! Friday night Cherlyn & I went to Bloomington with some friends to eat and shop, Saturday night I went with some girls to the Kenny Chesney concert in Louisville, and Sunday lunch was at grandma's (yum!!) and then all of the grand kids came back here to swim! Did I forget to mention that we also had 30 teenage kids here Sunday evening for Briona's 14th birthday?! I cannot believe she is 14 years old; I still catch myself calling her & Baleigh the "little girls". That's what mom, dad, and I always referred to them as and now when I ask mom where the little girls are or if they need to be picked up here or dropped off there, I have to stop and think of how (un-little) they really are- they're bigger than me now :) but in my mind I will always see them as my little precious girls no matter what age they are! Here are a few pics from the weekend:

Regina, me, Larryn, & Cherlyn at the concert!!

Larryn & I..

Our ride to Louisville!

Courtney & Baleigh soaking up the sun!

Baleigh & I doing tricks off of the diving board (she's already under the water!)


Cassondra & I airing up the floats for the kids :)

As I was laying down for bed last night I had a couple thoughts that were on my mind and I decided to just let them out: Every time that I crack a smile I am reminded of what my smile really means. On the outside it may just seem that I smile because of my surroundings, but on the inside my smile means so much more. To me it means fighting a battle that rages on in my heart day and night, striving for acceptance instead of bitterness, showing love instead of hurt, and offering hope instead of defeat. There are many days that I wish I didn't have to smile, but God gave me this smile for a reason, and that is to show that no matter how deep a valley may seem, or how long a storm rages on I still have so many blessings to smile for. Life is still sometimes hard for me to accept, and at times I catch myself walking thru a crowd and double-glancing at a man that resembles my dad because I'm still not used to him being gone. I feel like my heart is still searching for a man that will never walk thru my door again.. but as hard as that is for me to accept, in my heart I know that he walked thru a door that offers eternal life and no matter how much I long for him to return to our home, he is already Home in the arms of the One who called him there. As easy as it is to be bitter and to claim my dad as my own, he was never mine. God created my father to bless his three girls because He knew his beautiful life with us would be short and that we would be forced to find life without the provider of our home for the remainder of our days... but God blessed me with a daddy that so many little girls dream about and I got to live that dream for 19 years. Every time he wrapped his arms around me I felt like I could conquer the world- I feel selfish, but I still want him here beside me... It just feels so unfair to think of all of my dreams that I have to conquer without him standing there and giving me that million-dollar smile and waving with his thumbs-up. It's frusterating to sit here and try to write down my feelings because my words will never be able to express the complete loss that I feel in my life... but then again, I could never fully express the love that I feel for my dad either because of how deeply it was and still is engraved on my heart. It's a bond that will never be broken because of the God we serve!! I just hope that I'm still making him proud....

I love you daddy....