Briona's Poem

This beautiful girl turned 15 on the 23rd...

and is the author of this beautiful poem...

Death

Who says death in a family is easy?

Death in a family can make a family stronger

or break a family and cause some drama.

When you go to sleep at night you think everything is fine,

you can think of a good thought

or how life is treating you good.

That thought can change in a blink of an eye,

waking up to a phone call at 11 or 12 a.m.

hearing your dad is in the hospital miles away.

Fear is in my body, leaving me with not knowing what to think.

I want to think it is just a minor thing

but that can change too.

When we arrive to the hospital we are told the horrifying news,

that my dad just passed away an hour before we got there.

You can hear the passion of care and hurt in the doctor's voice.

But what to think and do is the question.

Should I be angry, scared, or sick?

All I can see is screaming, kicking, and crying

and all I think is why, why, why?

As I fall to the ground bursting into tears.

Morning comes and we arrive home and the news is around

people show up to tell us how sorry they are.

They say they hurt also, but do they hurt as bad as we do?

They say they know what we're going through,

but do they really know how hurt we are, how much we have cried already,

or possibly how hard it will be to go to sleep at night,

knowing I lost my best friend, my dad?

In the end, it feels like my heart got ripped out of me,

so much pain is inside of me that won't come out,

so much for a fourteen year old to handle at a young age.

And it will never change.

As soon as I read this poem, I wanted to yell out to God asking, "Why would you let this little girl suffer so much pain before she even enters high school? Why must she and her younger sister go through life without their daddy beside them; hearing other girls her age talk and love on their daddies while her hands are empty?" It is unfair. Period. No explanation, no understanding, just plain and simply unfair. My heart and soul will never understand this unfairness, but I have to keep going, because the sun keeps rising and setting, and cars keep flying by me as if my life is the same as it was a year and seven months ago..... But it's not. When I feel that I have no tears left to cry, and no pain left to squeeze out, sometimes I can see this....

....and for one split second, the pain is gone....