Handicapped

I've spent the past couple days working on my Father's Day post and I think it's going to turn out to be very neat!! As I was copying some pictures that I wanted to share of my younger days, I realized the amount that we had and decided to only take 3-5 albums and share my favorites. Each Father's Day I'll move on to the next albums so that each year the pictures become more recent! Looking back on all of those pictures felt like lifting the cover to someone else's life. It's amazing to see the years vanish and be looking into the eyes of a baby that was you, being held by parents that look nothing like themselves today!! It reminded me of how precious our time on this Earth really is, and how quickly time goes by. Those memories stirred some bittersweet emotions within me and every now and then I felt like I needed a break. I felt like a woman with a handicapped heart, going through therapy to become stronger and to be able to do things on my own once again. Even though I do not look limited on the outside, I feel limited on the inside. It made me question the idea of love and what love really meant...As I thought of all of these things, I wanted my Father's Day post to somehow represent my idea of love and the love that was given to me. Some people may look at my life on the cover and wonder why I still write like I do, or why I have taken this all so hard, and it's because, there was so much more to my relationship with my dad than just that- a father. He was my best friend, my provider, my strength, my determination, my world. When you lose all of that in one person, it feels like you lose yourself as well.
My wish today is that instead of just looking at your dad as a father, see what else you can find in him. My guess is, you'll find more than what you think. Embrace your relationship with your father while you have the chance.... because I never thought I would be the one sitting on the other side of the fence, sharing this story with you...

This year for my Father's Day gift, I opened my first savings account! Yes, i know- me actually saving money?! I figured that if I keep depositing money in there, in 10 years I'll have an amount that will allow me to make a good payment on my dream house- the house we live in now. I can't imagine raising my kids any place other than where I feel my dad, inside & out. :)