From this very month to all of the February's that will come to pass, I am going to yearn for joy, happiness, and laughter. Just as it felt last year around my birthday, it feels the same this year. Once again, I'm going to need prayers of strength, hope, and peace. It is so hard for me to master the concept of moving on as I come to the close of another year of my life. I've been 15 months without my biggest fan, and just as I felt I was being lifted from my knees, I get knocked back down again. I know it's going to take time, I know that this grief-filled pit in my heart will never fully heal, and I know that my memories of him will always remind me of happier times... but I want to feel strength, and right now I feel that I have none. So, to my wonderful blogger-friends, I guess I'm asking you to remember me in your prayers in this next week. Pray that I can find happiness, love, and laughter because I know that is what he is experiencing right now, and that's exactly what we would be doing if he would still be here!!
Love,
JM
7 comments:
I don't know if it's the same for you but the nights are always harder. Hurts seem fresher and deeper when I lay my head down. For you, I thought about a couple of Psalms or parts of them anyway. Not all of it applies, but the parts I thought you might relate to I included here:
1 Hear my prayer, O LORD,And let my cry come to You. 2 Do not hide Your face from me in the day of my trouble; Incline Your ear to me; In the day that I call, answer me speedily. 3 For my days are consumed like smoke, And my bones are burned like a hearth.
4 My heart is stricken and withered like grass,So that I forget to eat my bread. 5 Because of the sound of my groaning
My bones cling to my skin. 6 I am like a pelican of the wilderness;
I am like an owl of the desert.
7 I lie awake,And am like a sparrow alone on the housetop.
11 My days are like a shadow that lengthens,And I wither away like grass. 12 But You, O LORD, shall endure forever,And the remembrance of Your name to all generations.
13 You will arise and have mercy on Zion;For the time to favor her,
Yes, the set time, has come.
14 For Your servants take pleasure in her stones, And show favor to her dust. 15 So the nations shall fear the name of the LORD, And all the kings of the earth Your glory.
16 For the LORD shall build up Zion; He shall appear in His glory.
17 He shall regard the prayer of the destitute, And shall not despise their prayer." Psalm 102
"5 Those who sow in tearsShall reap in joy. 6 He who continually goes forth weeping,Bearing seed for sowing, Shall doubtless come again with rejoicing, Bringing his sheaves with him." Psalm 126:5&6
May your morning bring in sheaves of joy!
Ps. Sorry so long. May you find His joy in the sorrow. (A prayer up for you)
Always Praying for you! Love you girl!
Praying right now, Britt...I know you are gonna get through these dark days - you have been such an inspiration to me the past year!!!! I love you!
Brittany I think you are stronger than you could imagine. I know everyone needs that extra uplift and reminder from God though. Keep your head high. I think of you a lot and will be praying for you sweetie!
britt, i just got tears in my eyes for you! i know that no matter how much joy is in your life you will always miss your dad. i feel the same way about andon. praying for you!
praying for you!! i love you!!
--tracy graber
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