Realization

I wish I could've captured the whole kitchen view... I stayed over at grandma's last Sunday night while mom and the girls were in Florida, and I enjoyed some late night "counter" conversation with Aunt Nell, Cassondra, Courtney, and grandma. :) Poor tucker was the only one left on the floor.

Me, Cassondra, and Courtney went prom dress shopping last weekend for Cassondra's upcoming Senior Prom... We had a lot of fun!!!
On Saturday I was assigned to teach 16, 6-year-olds at USI for one of my classes... I think I had as much fun as they did!!

Thursday afternoon I received a very nice letter from USI's education department and as I finished reading it, the very first thought that popped into my mind was, "I can't wait to call dad- he'll be so excited!" But as quickly as it came, it vanished, and I was left with a hole so big that it took my breath away. For one split second my life was what it used to be, and then it was over. The reality came washing over me with the realization that I'll never be able to dial his number and hear his voice again, or hear the reassurance he brought to my life. I'll never again laugh with him, cry with him, coach with him, sing with him, dance with him, grow another year older with him, or become closer in my relationship with him.... all of those things are in the past, and I am only 20 years old. How do I go on living the next 20 years without these things in my life??

Today, Shawn talked about bringing glory to God and that sometimes we go thru really tough times that we do not understand in order to bring glory to God's name. I can only pray that in the end, our family brings nothing but glory to God thru the passing of my dad. And I know that is exactly what he would've wanted us to do.

~JM~