Wind Beneath my Wings

Today was one of my good days! Lately, I've been listening to Point of Grace in my car, and some of their songs are just so inspiring! I've found one that I absolutely love, but I'll share that with you later. On the way to observe my students, I found my mind reminiscing. I thought back to the last time I saw my daddy, and I realized that there is a lot I haven't shared about my life before my dad was called home.

I look back on pictures at the beginning of my sophomore year (September 2008) and as I stare into my face, I feel that I am looking upon a stranger. My smile was real!! I was happy, care-free, and full of life-- if only my life could've stayed that way, I wonder where I would be right now. Unlike my freshman year, I began to stay the weekends in Evansville.... I was dating a guy, Nick. I stayed every Friday night to be with him, and towards the end of October I stayed most Saturday nights too. This was very unusual for me- I'm such a homebody and family person, but I felt ready to start something new! Little did I know that the clock was winding down for my daddy. (I do want you to know that I spoke to every family member every single night before I went to bed; I can't sleep without them knowing how much I love them.) Thankfully, that last weekend I decided to come home Saturday night for the girls' volleyball sectional. I didn't get home until 4:30-5 p.m. and my mom and dad were in the kitchen cleaning up the dinner dishes. I walked in and immediately my dad's arms opened and he said, "Hey sweetie, we missed you." He went on to talk, but that sentence will be one that I will never forget. I ate my last supper with my daddy that night...That supper will never compare to anything else in this world. If only I could've slowed the clock; I would've let time stand still forever. My parents left for the game, and that was the last time I saw him. I spent the night at Meredith's house that night, and he left for the game that next morning.

I guess a lot of my hurt was my guilt. I would give anything to go back and change my weekends away- just to be near him meant the world to me. Later on, mom told me that he would only smile and say, "She's growing up," whenever he learned that I wouldn't be home until a Saturday or Sunday. He was excited to see me spread my wings. If only he knew that he was the wind beneath my wings. He was the only reason that I was able to fly, because he loved me with all that he had. And now that my wings are gone I feel broken, incomplete, and unable to grasp the concept of flying. The truth is, I don't even want to fly... without him. But lately, I've finally realized I do not have to fly without him, because he's already flying... above me! The song that I wanted to share is called, "Day by day." It goes something like this:

Day by day

We're coming closer

Makin' our way

clearer and straighter

turnin' our faces into the Light

And I can't wait to fall at Your glory

On my face

God of the morning

You're coming closer..

Day by day

To me the verse means this: Every day I get a little stronger, and last a little longer. My path becomes clearer so that I may walk and not stumble. Every day, God's face becomes closer to me, because His mercies are new each morning. And one of these mornings, I will be able to walk the streets of gold with my daddy, hand-in-hand, and this time we will never have to let go. What an awesome God we serve!!!

As for Nick & I now, we're just friends!.... Our paths in life are very different. Below are some pics from first semester...