Breathe

Me, Briona, & Baleigh at the Taylor Swift concert.

Look at how much taller she is than me!! She's passing me up... :)

My Beetle :) and a squishy little hamster!

Me & Regina camping!Me and my cousin, Cassondra, dressed and ready for prom!

Music starts playing like the end of a bad movie

It's the kind of ending you don't really wanna see

Cause its tragedy and it'll only bring you down

Now I don't know what to be without you around.

And I know it's never simple, never easy

Never a clean break, no one here to save me

You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand

And I CAN'T BREATHE WITHOUT YOU, BUT I HAVE TO

BREATHE WITHOUT YOU, BUT I HAVE TO...

Last night was a rough night for me. As I stood there standing over my daddy, those lines from above kept running over and over in my head; it explains what the tough moments feel like. I just lose it when I think of the days I will have to go thru without him... and the days I've already trudged thru. My heart just yearns for him day and night... I miss him with an aching so deep that squeezes my heart without rest. So many nights I pray for this to be a bad movie that I can turn off and throw away, but it's real... and it's my life. I just lay there and weep with a heart that feels so empty and remember the times that it used to overflow. God, how can this be real?? Tonight as I tucked the girls in and we finished our prayers, I couldn't help but hold on for an extra second and think about their young ages... Will they remember him like I do ten years from now, or will I be the only one? Sometimes I wonder why God allowed me 7 more years with him than they got, but I come up with nothing. I know that my thoughts are running everywhere tonight- it just feels better to get it off of my chest.

With all of my heart,

~JM~