Winter Wonderland...and Complete Chaos!!

This morning I woke up to a freezing apartment and a completely frozen parking lot!! Yes- I was one of the 60,000+ that did not have electricity!! My roommates and I sat in wonder- no computer, no tv, no microwave, no HEAT, no showers, absolutely nothing!! We thought we had a pretty good game plan- book a room at a nearby hotel and order in, but our plan didn't go as we wished! We spent 2 hours beating Kayla's car down from all of the ice and snow and recruited about 3 others out in the parking lot to help us push her car out! Success:)!! Only come to find out, every hotel within 20 miles was either completely booked or had no power- same followed for restaurants!! Well so much for that- I'm going home...only my car was stuck. Another 2 hours went by and mom had some of her friends come get me to bring me home!! Home Sweet Home:)...Unfortunately, USI has recently decided to have school tomorrow so I will be making the 3 hour trip tomorrow for one class- talk about dedication:)!!

As I was soaking in the bathtub and letting all of my frusteration out from this horrible day, I thought to myself... How many people in this world have to go thru what I went thru today everyday of their lives?? To me, this day was just considered 'a bad day' but to others it might be considered normal. No electricity, no showers, wondering where they may find their next meal...Normal?? I must admit that I have it pretty good; so many times I forget just how fortunate I am. So, as I snuggle up with my two little girls and momma tonight, I will remember how lucky I am to be blessed by my Heavenly Father. Say a little prayer tonight for those that are less fortunate than we are!:)

Blog Awards- Addictions (Sorry so Late!!)

Here's the rules!
1. You have to pass it on to 5 other fabulous bloggers in a post.
2. You have to list 5 of your fabulous addictions in the post.
3. You must copy and paste the rules and the instructions below in the post.

Instructions: On your post of receiving this award, make sure you include the person that gave you the award and link it back to them.

First I will pass it on to:
Ali Gish
Erica Alston
Ayrika Lengacher
Hope Alford
&& Karry Stoll :)

Alyssa Neidigh passed this on to me a few weeks ago (sorry so late!!) and I just now realized it; so, I decided to go ahead and carry it on:)!!

1.) Socks! My feet are always freezing- even in 80 degree weather!! So I wear socks everywhere, or if they're not on me, then they are in my purse:)!!

2.) Chocolate/milk! I have the biggest chocolate addiction known! I drink two glasses of chocolate milk a day.. and atleast some kind of chocolate candy! At home I have some German chocolate, sent from our exchange student, Kathi, stashed away in my jewelry armoire so my beautiful sisters won't find it!!:) Sorry- German chocolate is the best there is!

3.) Sleeping; this is almost like a hobby to me:)!! I require AtLeast! 8-10 hours a night, and if I don't get that, then a nap is a must!!!

4.) Music! Music inspires me, encourages me; makes me laugh, makes me cry... I have to have something playing for most of the day!

5.) Family... being away from my family is almost more than I can bare (especially now). Leaving for college was one of the toughest times for me! I couldn't imagine not coming home to their love & laughter every night. My family- we were like 5 peas in a pod, so to speak:)- God blessed me for that time!! Now I long to be home with my little girls, and my momma. I crave Sunday's at grandma's, and I cherish every single minute of it!

~JM~

~MeMoRiEs~

Struggling for the Son

Little Jim... :)

I'm stranded out in the middle of the ocean, trying to keep my head above water, with no land in sight... all alone. This is what life has become for me within the past couple of weeks. Trying to find life again is like trying to find the sunshine in the midst of a tornado- how does this work?? At times I feel like I'm losing myself- losing the me that knows better. The one below comes knocking on my door every day, trying to turn my life from the good. (I'm not trying to explain what it's like to feel tempted... everyone knows what this is like unfortunately.) What I need is strength, strength to lighten my path, to open my eyes from this darkness. I've lost my way.... but don't doubt me; one day I will walk again, instead of sink. I have to remind myself, "Brittany, Look Up!!" Look at the sunshine, the stars, and the rainbows.. See how big God is- He is bigger than every single one of my problems: bigger than my grief, my loss, and my temptations... One day I will walk with my daddy, again:) And this time, our hands will never have to be pulled apart. I continue to pray that these thoughts will arm me with His strength in my times of doubt- I know that when I am without Him is the only time that my head sinks under the water...


“I have called you by name, you are mine. When you go through deep waters, I will be with you.” Isaiah 43:1-2

This was his last picture ever taken: after the B-R volleyball game on November 1, 2008.

When I dream, this is what I see... My Family together Forever.

~JM~

"Where I'm From"

For my education 306 class tomorrow I had to fill in the blanks to this poem titled, "Where I'm from". Each line had to start with 'I am from', and in the blanks in between said (fill with adjective, or object) etc... each word filled in had to relate to me in some way! I know it might sound kind of dumb, but I love doing stuff like this so I thought I would share it:)

"Where I'm From"

I am from blue jeans,

from Prairie Farms milk and Hershey's chocolate.

From the open fields where the cattle graze.

(Quaint, quiet, but unordinary in many ways.)

I am from Gerbera daisies,

the colorful petals full of the evening sunshine.

I'm from Sunday dinners and stubborn tempers,

from Peter and from James.

I'm from the die-hard sports fans,

and hard workers that never give up.

I'm from 'yellow means to speed up' and 'God is good'.

I'm from a cotten-ball Lamb

who spoke the Ten Commandments to which I should closely follow.

I'm from Montgomery and Elizabeth's branch,

fried chicken and mashed potatoes.

From the finger my aunt lost to the pulley,

to the dent in my daddy's face from an auger.

In our wooden cabinets lay dozens of picture albums.

Some containing the ancestors who went before me,

and others lost in all of the life of my sisters and I.

I live because of those memories,

laying out the footsteps in which I will follow.

Haha... I love this picture!!! I think I was around 5 when I first started tee-ball, and of course, daddy was the coach:)
This past summer, dad & I got to coach the 12&Under girls- which also had our two little girls, Bri & Bay!!:) Now I see what a blessing that opportunity was...

Gone, but not forgotten...

I love you so much, daddy.

~JM~

Happy Birthday, Daddy!

Dear Daddy,
52!!! Wow, you were getting up there:)!! You were always so fun to tease- I think it might've been that way because you were always complemented on how young you looked:). Either way, you knew how to laugh and I loved that about you.
January 13, 2008 came a day like any other; little did we know that birthday would be your last with us. If we had only known how special that day should've been- we would have made it all the difference, I hope you know that. You were celebrating 51, and we were celebrating your life with us. So this year, we will do the same thing. Every time I close my eyes today, I praise God for creating you, for your "birth" day. I can't imagine life with any other person as my daddy except you.
Daddy- you will never, ever know how much you really meant to me, and how deeply I miss you. There's not a day that goes by that I don't cry out for you- for you to walk with me just one more time. On the day you were taken to heaven, you took a part of me with you. A part that will forever mourn my life without you. That day, I thought it would only be right that the world should stop... because your life was taken. But the days kept coming and going, and I was left here for a reason- to follow in your footsteps.
The more I think about this day, the more I understand how special today is for you. It's your first birthday in heaven!!! And I'm sure this is the best one you've ever had! I'm not sure what God has planned for you today, maybe another water-rafting trip for you:), but whatever it is, I know it will be a lot better than anything we could've given you. God seems to do that a lot:) Even though today is your birthday, He also gave me a little gift today- your laughter. Right now I can hear your laughter and I see that famous smile on your face. Oh, how I miss that!!!!- but I must know that He gave me this memory for a reason.... To understand that although I ache for you with every breath and that I miss you more than words will ever be able to express, you are so happy right where you are. You are with Jesus and will never again have to hurt, feel pain, have tears, worry, or feel defeated. So daddy, here is to you and your beautiful day...
To my best friend, my inspiration, my encourager, my hope & dreams... to my father- Happy Birthday!!! May God wrap his arms around you and fill you with all of the happiness in the world- you deserve it. I love you with all of my heart & I CAN NOT wait to see you again... One day we will get to celebrate this day together as a family like we used to:) And don't worry, I promise to take care of mom & the girls... With ALL of my love, your daughter, Brittany.


This morning, as I turned the page to my daily verse, the verse written on this day could not have been more beautiful........
Surprise us with love at daybreak; then we'll skip and dance all day long!! Let your servants see what you're best at- the ways you rule and bless your children. And let the loveliness of our Lord, our God, rest on us!
Psalm 90: 14, 16-17

Letting Go...

I sit here in front of my computer, clinging to the shoes that you tied for the last time, and I'm unable to let go. Every time my head hits the pillow, all I can think about is you... The last time I saw you, the last time I hugged you, the last time I was blessed to say "I love you", and all I see is the 'lasts'. How were we to know that the day you left for the game we were supposed to let you go? I'm unable to understand the meaning of this circumstance... Each morning I wake up to find myself in sinking sand; sometimes I can pull myself to find solid ground, and other times I can't. I yearn for the life I used to live; for the happiness I used to know. I look back on the pictures of the old me and only then could I tell you what true happiness really felt like. Some of you may never know how deeply my daddy touched my life- I tend to hide my sorrow well when I want to. I don't want people to look at me with pity for the life that I've lost; I want them to remember the life that he lived and to remind themselves how precious each breath really is. I'll never forgive myself for the days that I took for granted... He'll never know the late hours that I yearn for him to walk with me just once more or the times that I cry out "daddy" just so I won't forget what the name sounds like across my lips.
I've been trying to read "The Shack" when I get the chance, and it really hit me at a special time in my life because he is going thru the trial of losing a daughter, so I feel like we're kind of struggling thru the same obstacles... Anyways, there's a paragraph that I would like to share with you- it couldn't better describe the feelings that I'm going thru right now.

"Jesus?" he whispered as his voice choked. "I feel so lost."
A hand reached out and squeezed his, and didn't let go.
"I know, but it's not true. I am with you and I am not lost. I'm sorry it feels that way, but hear me clearly. You are not lost."


With all of my heart,
~JM~

Daddy's Playlist

I've been sitting around thinking all day of the songs that dad loved or that reminded me of our time together, and I thought it would be neat to write them all down and share them with you... and to refresh my memory:)

"All-American Girl(s)"
Since the day they got married
He'd been praying for a little baby boy
Someone he could take fishing
Throw the football and be his pride and joy
He could already see him holding that trophy
Taking his team to state
But when the nurse came in with a little pink blanket
All those big dreams changed
And now, he's wrapped around her finger
She's the center of his whole world
And his heart belongs to his sweet, little, beautiful, wonderful, perfect
All American girls

My dad was a boy's boy inside in & out... We would all laugh at the odds of him having all 3 girls!! But, we also laughed at the fact that God knew he probably couldn't handle the "messiness" of boys-- he was a "clean-freak"!!!:) As most of you know, we were daddy's whole world, anything we wanted he would try his very best to do; spoiled-rotten we were, but I have never seen love any deeper than what he gave to us.

"Still Cleaning this gun (Come on in Boy)"
Now it's all for show
Ain’t nobody gonna get hurt
It’s just a daddy thing
And hey, believe me, man it works
(Chorus)Come on in boy sit on down
And tell me about yourself
So you like my daughter do you now?
Yeah we think she's something else
She's her daddy's girl
Her momma's world
She deserves respect
That’s what she'll get
Now ain't it son?
Y’all run along and have a little fun
I'll see you when you get back
Probably be up all night
Still cleanin' this gun

This was my dad's ringtone for me on his cell phone... and I must say, it rang in very true to him:) I can remember calling him soon after I got my license and asking him for 30 minutes longer at a boy's house and I'll never forget the reply I always got when I so often requested this extended time... "Britt, thirty minutes longer and you better be home." Even this year when I would be home from school and come in to tell him I was in for the night, he would pretend to be sleeping, but I always knew he wasn't:) he wouldn't really fall asleep until I was home and he knew I was safe!

"My Little Girl"
When you were in trouble that crooked little smile could melt my heart of stone.
Now look at you, I've turned around and you've almost grown.
Sometimes you're asleep I whisper "I Love You!" in the moonlight at your door.
As I walk away, I hear you say, "Daddy Love You More!
Your beautiful baby from the outside in.
Chase your dreams but always know the road that'll lead you home again.
Go on, take on this whole world. But to me you know you'll always be, my little girl.

This was a favorite of his!! I can still see the look on his face when he would hear this song... So many times I would hear it, and it always felt like he was the one that wrote it for me and my sisters.

"I Walk the Line" by Johnny Cash
My dad and I were both big fans of Johnny Cash!! I can still see us belting out the lyrics in his truck to this song when we would hear it on the radio:) of course, he could get those lower notes a lot better than I could!!

Steven Curtis Chapman- all of his songs were favorites of my daddy's!! This was part of the reason why his song "Cinderella" was so special to me.

Missing you.
~JM~