Monday, January 19, 2009

Struggling for the Son


Little Jim... :)

I'm stranded out in the middle of the ocean, trying to keep my head above water, with no land in sight... all alone. This is what life has become for me within the past couple of weeks. Trying to find life again is like trying to find the sunshine in the midst of a tornado- how does this work?? At times I feel like I'm losing myself- losing the me that knows better. The one below comes knocking on my door every day, trying to turn my life from the good. (I'm not trying to explain what it's like to feel tempted... everyone knows what this is like unfortunately.) What I need is strength, strength to lighten my path, to open my eyes from this darkness. I've lost my way.... but don't doubt me; one day I will walk again, instead of sink. I have to remind myself, "Brittany, Look Up!!" Look at the sunshine, the stars, and the rainbows.. See how big God is- He is bigger than every single one of my problems: bigger than my grief, my loss, and my temptations... One day I will walk with my daddy, again:) And this time, our hands will never have to be pulled apart. I continue to pray that these thoughts will arm me with His strength in my times of doubt- I know that when I am without Him is the only time that my head sinks under the water...


“I have called you by name, you are mine. When you go through deep waters, I will be with you.” Isaiah 43:1-2


This was his last picture ever taken: after the B-R volleyball game on November 1, 2008.



When I dream, this is what I see... My Family together Forever.
~JM~

3 comments:

Abbie said...

Oh Brit, I am so sorry...I just keep imagining God wrapping his big, strong arms around you and comforting you - I hope you can feel it. You will conquer this darkness, Brit, I know you will...hang in there, sweetheart! If you wanna talk, I'm here!

Jamie said...

Brittany, I love to read your blog. You are such a beautiful and unique person. When times get tough just remember that you have so much to be thankful for.. memories, your family and friends, and most importantly our heavenly father who always stands beside us and gives us comfort and strength when we need it the most.

Anonymous said...

When I read your blogs all I can think about are the slumber parties at your house. Your dad would've taken us or gotten us whatever us girls wanted. Britt you are always in my prayers. One day you will get to be with your dad and never worry about losing him again. I love you Britt.