Fan of My Life

I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world. -John 16:33

It is so easy to look into the future and dream about all that could've been- all my hopes, my dreams, my trials- they all had my dad standing next to me, holding me up thru the storm of this life. It's like counting on someone that has promised to be there, and suddenly when you realize they won't make it, you feel beat down and discouraged. How could it have went from perfect to empty all in one single breath? I never thought the day would come that I would have to stand over my daddy's lifeless body and say goodbye for the final time. The final touch, the final kiss, the final whisper, and the final glance all on that FINAL day. As I stood there trying to memorize every crease, every wrinkle, every feature; I realized that he would never get another crease between his brows from worrying about my 'growing up', he would never gain a new wrinkle from working out in the sun all day, and his face would never feature anything that I didn't recognize because he laid it all out for me, for my sisters, and for my mother. Instead, he would remain by his love that he already instilled in me- he would ALWAYS be a fan of my life no matter how many times I messed up, no matter how many times I fell, he would never leave me. And as I lay here tonight, I now understand what he meant...No matter how far apart we were from eachother, nothing could seperate his love for me, and even though we are now worlds apart, he is still there- just from a different angle. He is still cheering for me on the sidelines of my life, all I have to do is remember...

~JM~