This morning at 1 a.m. marked the 2-week anniversary of my dad's passing. For those of you that don't know the details of what went on that day, here it is...
I woke up to my phone ringing at 8:50 a.m., Sunday morning. I had spent the night at Meredith's and overslept; I missed church with my family and the last opportunity to ever spend time with my dad. My family went to church at Providence that morning, and right after went home so my dad could leave for the big game. He had been talking about this game for a couple weeks and was sooo excited to see the new stadium and to watch that game. You could say he was a die-hard fan of the Colts:) They left around noon that day to go tailgating and to get some extra time to walk around the new stadium. I got home around 12:30 p.m. and laid down to take what turned out to be a 2 1/2 hour nap:) I woke up around 3 and had a missed call from dad. I called him back and we talked for about 5 minutes. Of course, he was encouraging me to keep my head up (I had a rough week in school) and to do my best- that is all he ever asked of me. We finished the conversation with him asking how the little girls were doing, and finally he said, "I love you." If only I knew those would be the last words I would ever hear from him. Later that night, me, mom, Bri, and Bay were playing some games and watching the game. They all went to sleep around 10 p.m., but I stayed up to finish the game. Thankfully, he texted each of the girls and got to say goodnight & I love you before they fell asleep. At 11:15, I texted dad this message, "So glad you got to see an awesome game. Go Colts!! Love you daddy!!" He responded with the same... I think back to that moment and wonder what exactly was going thru his mind.. Did he know that was the very last time he would ever get to respond to me? Did the thought ever cross his mind that he might not make it all the way home that night??
The home phone rang at 12:30 a.m.- the phone call we didn't know that would soon change our lives. Mom answered. The call was from Marv Wagler, one of my dad's buddies he had went to the game with. The only thing she found out from the call was that dad had had what they thought was a heart attack, and that he was at the Martinsville hospital- they said bring the girls and get here as fast as you can. The whole way to the hospital, we were praying and crying- hoping this was just a wake-up call. But as soon as we walked in the ER doors, 3 doctors were there to greet us. Seconds later I heard my mom's screams; I could no longer feel anything, not my heart, not my tears, not even my pain. A part of me died right there with my dad, a part of myself I will never get back.
My dad died of a massive heartattack at 1 a.m. early Monday morning. The passengers riding in the car with my dad heard him gasping for air and making weird noises at 12:25 a.m. Thankfully, he had been sleeping. Right away they pulled over to a gas station and began performing CPR. What a coincidence that a nurse was at the station and knew what to do and that the hospital was not even a mile away. An ambulance came right away and tried to bring him back. They said they got a pulse for maybe 30 seconds, but they believe he had died right there, sleeping in the back of Marv's truck. He was only 51 years old, and had been to our family doctor the previous Thursday for his blood-pressure check-up. That day, he told the nurse he had never felt better.
Knowing all of this information, I wonder where it could've went wrong. He had been to the doctor 4 days before, he had friends around that heard him struggling, a nurse was at the station, and the hospital was also visible from them..... We, as humans, always think it will never be us; we think we have control over our lives, but we have none. God provides our every breath- He is the author of our lives- He gives,...but he also takes away. I may never know the reason why he took my dad so early, but I do know this. He blessed me with 19 years with a father that gave me the life some little girls dream about, He gave me a father that will live on in me until my last breath, and He gave me the promise that, in heaven, I can dance with him FOREVER. :))
These are the coals left from their tailgate cooking 2 weeks ago, November 2, 2008.
His seat & jacket...
~Remember James~
January 13, 1957- November 3, 2008
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